No class, no assignment, no mess for a month because damn it is semester break.
And now, after a month, I gotta get back to a stressful ocean to drown myself with messy things around me. I gotta get back to UITM ARAU, PERLIS and do you know how fucking far that place from my hometown? - 8 hours destination on road you know. I don't want to get back to Arau. Nooooo.
And after the accident involving the 'rocket', it is actually make me happy and calm a little bit, but what makes me feel trouble is to see the new members inside the 'rocket'. And my friends, who finally got a chance to be stars; I'm proud for them even it is hurt to be honest but I gotta be strong you know.
And actually, I lack of confidence myself but you know fuck it let rock the world. This new semester schedule is so fucking pack and damn suffocating. I almost die seeing the schedule for the first time. Like damn. Every day; from Monday to Friday class start on 8 am and there is one day that the class ended on 6.30 pm. Oh My God T_T
After been discussing with a lots of people and the captain, finally they make a decision to kick me from the rocket. Well to be really fucking freaking honest, I was sad and disappointed really much but yeah I know there is something more and more great waiting ahead.
I keep asking myself why they kick me? Why? Then they told me that "You're good but there are more people can do better." I see, I'm not capable to be with them, and I know, and I realized. Thank you for making everything clear. From the very beginning they tried to kick me but now they can do that. I should look at the mirror and reflects myself. I do make a lot of mistake and I realize I have incredible big issues with them and they have right to kick me out.
Now, I'm no longer on the rocket. When I put my foot on the earth again, I know something great will happen to me. I can breath again. I'm no longer grasping in the air waiting for people to help me. I'll be free. Yet, it is so sad when people kick me out from the rocket because I can't be as good as the others. But, FUCK IT. I AM FREE NOW !
Thanks God. I know Allah is the best planner and I trust His Plan :)